My neighbor, Robin, is the queen of bees. And honey. And butterflies. And all things pollinator projects and culinary gardens. The outside of our apartment is kept beautiful thanks to the work of her hands, tending to dozens and dozens of different species of flowers, plants, herbs, and vegetables. She’s taken the small strips of dirt between the sidewalk and our building and turned them into thriving urban gardens.
She was out of town this week and asked me to babysit her butterflies. Um… YES! I didn’t even really know what that entailed, but I eagerly accepted the invite.
So, I’ve spent the last week, checking in on our butterfly house twice a day. Looking to see what stage the monarchs were at in their life cycle. Seeing if they had busted out of their sage green cocoons, transforming into the black and orange beauties we’ve come to know and love.
Some afternoons, I’d come out to nothing new. Cocoons still hanging with no growth or change in sight. One day, I came out to 6 butterflies, fully hatched. Wings drying out, gently starting to flap.
This was the moment. This was what I was here for. This is what babysitting butterflies was all about. Having the honor and privilege of opening the door and ushering them into the big, beautiful, real world. I got to witness them literally and figuratively, spread their wings and fly. Flap frantically for the first time into their next chapter of life.
The moment they left the butterfly house, I’d track them as far as my eye could see. As they flapped their wings hard, looking for a nice green spot to land, among the neighboring flowers or trees. I watched them wander, clumsily, getting thrown off by this new thing called wind. Finding their rhythm and strength once again.
It made me think about us humans. About our process of spreading our wings to fly. I think the closest thing we experience to their cycle, is growing up in our childhood home. Our parents or guardians are the ones tending to us, as we journey through the different growth stages. Infancy to childhood. To tweens, teens, and eventually becoming young adults.
For many of us, our “spread our wings and fly” moment looked like the first time we left home for college. My send-off to college was hilarious. My friend dropped me off at a Megabus stop, with just a suitcase and backpack in hand. My parents were off on a cruise in the Caribbean with some friends.* How’s that for spreading your wings and flying?!
*My mom would be dismayed if I didn’t include the fact that I had left early for training camp and summer school. AND that she did indeed come out and properly moved me in the Fall when I settled into my first, long-term dorm. But the Megabus was still a pretty epic start!
But besides that, as life goes on, I realize these big “spread the wings and fly” moments aren’t always as clear. Unlike butterflies, we are constantly going back and reliving some of those former stages of life. We get out and fly, only to find ourselves crawling like caterpillars once again. Learning, growing, exploring. Or like a recently laid egg, starting over completely fresh. Everything new. Then randomly, we’ll enter stages of cocooning. Seasons of retreat. Seasons where we pull back, look inward. Seasons where we are rediscovering who we are. Getting clear on who we are meant to be.
Our growth cycle isn’t linear like butterflies appear to be. We go back and forth, up and down, swirling around in between. It’s disorienting. Disappointing at times, when we feel like we’ve taken a step back. Or maybe even a few. But it’s beautiful too. Because we are always re-entering times when we get to bloom. Times when we hatch into something new. Unlike butterflies, we face a million little moments of life where we get to be the ones to decide, Is this my time to fly?
So even if you’re not flying today. If where you want to be feels far away. Don’t get discouraged. You will again soon, spread your wings and fly. Be patient in the process. Sure, it’s not linear or clear, but there will be more growth for you this way. There will be more for you here.
If you ever get the chance to babysit some butterflies — please do. I promise it will teach you a thing or two.
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